Single

Today’s featured song: Single-Minded Love by Kenny Marks, from his 1983 album, Absolutely Positively.

Starting in high school, I began to long for close friendship with a woman. Being somewhat shy and introverted, I had acquaintances with girls, but few situations came up where a real “date” occurred, even into the college years. At college, the topic of one Bible study I attended happened to be about waiting for a mate. A written essay about this was passed out as a hand-out for that study, and for years I kept it in a file amongst my papers. Today I cannot locate my copy, but with a little effort I was able to find it on the Net. Apparently, it was used far beyond that small Bible study I attended, and was widely copied long before there was such a thing as the Internet to aid in its dissemination. Here is the text of that hand-out:

On His Plan For Your Mate

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says to a Christian, “No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me alone. I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

“I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you that most thrilling plan existing, one that you can’t imagine. I want you to have the best! Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting that satisfaction, expecting the greatest things, and know that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait!

“Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things others have received. Don’t look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

“And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have planned and prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me … and this is perfect love.

“Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied.”

–Author Unknown

I found these words to be incredibly comforting back in the days when I was wishing for, longing for a relationship that would lead to marriage. I wanted that special friendship. And at one time I thought I had found that relationship, but it didn’t work out as I had though it would. Instead, as this anonymous writing points out, God had something better in mind for me, specifically the wonderful woman I eventually married. That “something better” did not happen for many years. Every so often I would pull out this “letter from God”, and reassure myself that He had it all under control. And eventually he did bring me to that “love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine”. The point of that essay was to remind me to focus my eyes on Jesus and on my relationship with Him, and to leave the rest of my life up to Him.

Clearly, it is possible to run ahead of God, and to dive into a relationship and a marriage without waiting for Him to give the green light. It is possible to frantically seek out that mate, to be “looking for love in all the wrong places”. But that can lead to heartache and pain, when you find yourself mis-matched with someone who, in the long run, is really incompatible with you (and possibly with your beliefs). I have always maintained that for a couple, if they both work at staying close to God, they will stay close to each other.

This concept was also expressed in song by Kenny Marks in today’s song. It’s a reminder to learn to be single-minded in my love for Jesus, regardless of my marital status.

All my friends are getting married
Still I go to hear them say,
“I will cherish you forever,
For today’s our wedding day”

Then I see them walk the aisle
They walk right out of my life
Being single has those moments
That can cut just like a knife

Being single has those times when
Independence needs a friend
Times when loneliness takes over
Times of doubt that never end

There’s a tension deep inside of me
And the struggle won’t relent
Thoughts of singleness forever
Doesn’t make my heart content

Give me single-minded love
That will make my life complete
‘Cause I don’t wanna worry any more
About the one the I might meet

Oh, Lord, I know You have a plan
Though at times it’s hard to see
Just give me single-minded love
Lord, I give you all of me

Being single is exciting
At least that’s what it’s supposed to be
And being married seems so stable
It’s a balance of extremes

What I really want is both of these
The fulfillment and the fun
So for now I place my trust in You
You complete what You’ve begun

Give me single-minded love
That will make my life complete
‘Cause I don’t wanna worry any more
About the one the I might meet

Oh, Lord, I know You have a plan
And I’m beginning now to see
Just give me single-minded love
Oh, Lord, I give you all of me

All of me (single-minded)
I give you me (single-minded)
All of me (single-minded)